I’m in a rut with my writing. I don’t know why. So much has happened this past month but I’ve just been too lazy to write about everything. There’s that second trip I took to Boracay this year. I was there for five days and, yes, I was crying like a girl when I was leaving the island. There’s that time last week when I finally found out that those two things in-between my legs which look like walnuts are actually my balls – I’ve finally told my boss that I was quitting. However, she said she was recommending my promotion if I stay. Damn if I do get promoted, my salary will be twice as big and I’ll get a new car and free gas. If my boss is able to finagle my promotion from those creeps at the home office, then this whore is definitely staying.

That’s it in the meanwhile.

I was going through some of the crap I’ve written the past year and here’s one that I didn’t post. It’s about Shrivanam and I wrote it a few days before I went home last year. I guess I didn’t post it because I really was writing too much about the guy in my blog. Well, past is past. Here I go again but for perhaps for the last time about Shrivanam:

Lest anyone think that I´m some kind of intolerant racist asshole because I´ve been flaming Shrivanam recently, allow me to categorically confirm that I´m not. How can I be a fucking bigot when I myself have experienced some mild form of racism during my stays abroad? My reasons for flaming Shrivanam have everything to do with his annoying personality and actions and not his race or creed. If anything, I am getting a little worried that I may be appearing to be too dependent on him to provide material for this blog. But I can´t help it. I work with the shit and his apartment door is actually facing mine. I see his ugly bemustached mug every goddamn day.

And something happened (again) yesterday which makes me think he´s just a bit interested in my fucking affairs too.

Shrivanam´s spot at the office is nearer than mine to one of the project heads´ office. Her name´s Beatriz. Now, Beatriz is Spanish. A hot looking Spanish chica at that. She always dresses like she´s going to a hippie fair or a David Bisbal concert. (This Bisbal guy is, inexplicably, the biggest singer here in Spain. All the discotecas play his songs which are overproduced and overladen with synthesizers. Synthesizers. I shit you not ) Suffice it to say I have the hots for her but as a wise man once said, "No matter how beautiful she is, someone out there is tired of taking her shit." Beatriz shall we say is a, um, what´s that word again? The one that starts with a "b" and rhymes with "itch"? She has this tendency to shoot her mouth off without thinking about the consequences of her words. I think she´s succeeded to some degree because she´s not afraid to say stuff which a normal human being would think twenty times over before saying. She´s this project´s attack dog. No fucking finesse whatsoever.

I go to Beatriz to ask what I´m going to do with the per diem that´s been paid to me in advance since I´m going back to Manila this week. She said she´ll think about it but maybe I could just apply the unused amount when I get back.

Later, Shrivanam approached me.

"So you did talk to Beatriz about the per diem?"

What the fuck? How´d he know? Was he listening in on my discussion with Beatriz in her office from his spot? Who the hell is he? Daredevil?

"Yeah," I said, not even bothering to ask how come he knew. Those shifty eyes of his must have seen me go to Beatriz´s office but it´s incredible that he overheard what were talking about.

"What did she say?"

"She said she´ll think about it and then tell us what to do."

He then made his way to Beatriz and talked to her - presumably about the allowance. I can´t help but feel it was just a show for me so then I´ll go over to him and ask him what Beatriz said. Well, fuck him, I didn´t. Like I give a shit.

I just think that it´s just plain, you know, evil to listen in on other people´s discussions. But the range he gets with those ears of his is absolutely fantastic. It´s just impossible for any other human to overhear what Beatriz and I talked about given that distance. Maybe Shrivaman´s just used to snooping that he´s become so adept at it.

What a weasel.

Papa Ratzi

I’m back. I haven’t been posting anything these past few weeks because I’ve been so busy with work. Things took a turn for the worse when the company which sells water had its IPO at the exchange. Our client was one of the underwriters and there were days when I’d be in meeting after meeting and conference call after conference call the whole freaking day.

Things have quieted down a bit this week. But this is just the proverbial calm before the storm because next week, fucking shit, we’ve got a client who’s the bookrunner for a big-ticket block sale and so…

I got out from under the big rock I’ve been living under and found out that we have a new pope in the person of Joseph Ratzinger aka Pope Benedict XVI. His election by the College of Cardinals is nothing short of a landslide as it only took about two days to secure the two-thirds vote required before the white smoke was puffing out of the most-watched chimney in the world. It’s not surprising that Papa Ratzi won as all but two of the cardinals who voted were put in their place by Pope John Paul II. How is that important? Well, Pope John Paul II chose all these cardinals because all of them more or less shared his very conservative stance against controversial issues such as birth control, same-sex marriages, women priests, and the lifting of the vow celibacy of priests. Papa Ratzi is a staunch and popular opposer of all these issues and so it was the easiest thing in the world to predict his ascendancy to the papacy. Pope John Paul II’s selection of his cardinals more or less ensured that his legacy of a conservative church hierarchy will stretch out for more years than it has to.

I wasn’t a big fan of Pope John Paul II. He was an inflexible conservative if you ask me. I am pretty much a liberal and therefore think that the church should convene Vatican III and institute much needed reforms because, well, it’s the year two thousand and fucking five anno domini already and existing church dogma seemed to have been set into place around the time when Jesus himself was running around in short trousers. For the life of me, I don’t understand how an all-male church leadership can institute doctrine on issues which impact women more, such as and abortion and birth-control, when not one of these guys has a vagina. Where’s the Vatican’s credibility to dictate what women can or cannot do to their bodies when they treat all women not worthy enough to say mass, offer communion, or include their point of view in choosing a new pope? What is the church trying to say? That a woman can run a country (we’ve had two women presidents) but not a small parish?

And what is this celibacy bullshit imposed on priests? I’ve been getting different opinions on the reason why but can never seem to get a sensible and factual one. Some have suggested that wives could be a distraction in fulfilling the vocation of the priesthood. Let’s say someone stabs you and you haul ass to the hospital so a doctor can treat you. Would the first words out of your lips be to ask the civil status of the doctor? Shit, you wouldn’t care right? You wouldn’t discriminate based on civil status because you know full well that a married doctor wouldn’t any less be focused on his medical career than a bachelor doctor. How can the church even claim to promote the welfare of the Filipino family in its teachings when priests themselves aren’t allowed to have one? Doesn’t that smack of hypocrisy?

The church will always say that it’s not a democracy and it’s not in the business of mandating majority rule or equal treatment for everyone. The pope and his cardinals set doctrine and there’s not a damn thing that anyone without a penis can do.