We're Just Friends

Oh no. Sad news from New York. Seems that these things only work if they involve Meg Ryan and a Harry Connick, Jr. soundtrack.

Read on after the jump.

New York subway romance hits end of the line.

Got MILF?

I don't think there's an organization out there who's as sorry about its choice of an acronym for a name than the Moro Islamic Liberation Front or, tee-hee, MILF. I mean, come on. MILF? Who's going to take your group seriously if your abbreviated name is the same as "A hot mom you'd wanna hit all night long." My god, the jokes just write themselves, don't they?

Take this, for example: The Philippine government has recently formed a group with the objective of capturing and pursuing all known members of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. The group's name? MILF Hunters.

Or take these actual news headlines which I got when I googled "MILF." Some are quite tragic but because of what the acronym has come to mean, well, I had to try hard to get the context right.

MILF cautions against "witch-hunting"
MILF attacked 40 times in 2 months
End to attacks assured after MILF reprimands men
Elderly woman killed, sister hurt in alleged MILF attack
Woman killed, another missing in MILF attack

Hey, um, my brothers from the south, I know you've got dibs on the initials since you've been using it since 1981 while the other MILF was I think first mentioned in the movie American Pie in 1999. However, might I suggest a bit of pride swallowing and a change in your name?

A Church of Hypocrites

Remember in school when we were taught about collective nouns? You know, these are words which define a, um, collective like, say a group of animals, people, or inanimate objects: a congress of baboons, a company of actors, or a quiver of arrows. Well, well, well. Looking at the headlines today over at inquirer.net, you know what a collective of hypocrites should be called? A church.

The headline which stuck in my craw was 'Anti-life pols must be refused communion.' The item explains that Ozamiz Archbishop Jesus Dosado has issued a pastoral letter denying Holy Communion to Catholic politicians if they have pursued a campaign for and endorse "permissive abortion." On what basis should these politicians be denied the Holy Eucharist? Because they are "in a situation of sin." Oh, snap! No, he did-ent! Tell me he didn't go with a reasoning so abstract that its very ambiguity boggles the mind and therefore leaves anyone who hears it scratching his head. I am sorry, your Excellency. You have disarmed me by frying my brain and I'm therefore unable to come up with a witty comeback.

Or maybe I don't have to. Another Church-related news item had the following headline: "Pope's Australia visit to be marked by sex abuse apology."

Well, let's try to put the phrase into its proper context. The objects of His Excellency's enmity are 48 legislators who have co-authored a bill in Congress called "An Act Providing for a National Policy on Reproductive Health, Responsible Parenthood and Population Development." The Church deems that the bill promotes permissive abortion and and is anti-life. However, the principal author of the bill, Albay Rep. Edcel Lagman, says that a closer inspection of the proposed law would show that the Church's estimation of the bill is totally wrong as it does not espouse permissive abortion at all. I love the way Rep. Lagman refers to the Archbishop's missive: "It’s a grave penalty for a phantom act."

Okay, so Dosado did clarify that denying communion is not a sanction but rather "it is a reaction to a person’s public unworthiness to receive Holy Communion because of an 'objective situation of sin.' " Further, "that a person was in an objective situation of sin if he paved the way for people to commit abortion, or if he provided opportunities for abortion to be done." Well notwithstanding Rep. Lagman's assurance that the bill does not promote permissive abortion, the fucking thing has not even been passed yet. So, how can the legislators be complicit to anyone getting an abortion at this point? It just galls me that the Church is already punishing people for non-existent crimes basing this on bullshit semantics like "situation of sin" while at the same time, its head has to apologize for past sexual crimes most execrable.

I am a Catholic. Rather, I was born a Catholic. The Church's stance on abortion is just one of many hot-button issues which I find anachronistic -- along with prohibiting women to be priests and priests to marry. But who listens to me, right? I'm just saying that an organization composed of exclusively men cannot dictate laws which would only impact women. My opinion is if you don't have a uterus, shut the fuck up on abortion. And all this bullshit talk about the sanctity of life and when does it begin, I defer to one of my personal heroes: The late, great George Carlin. As hard as I try, I have never come across a fitting counter-argument to what he said about abortion:

"If a fetus is a human being, how come the census doesn't count them? If a fetus is a human being, how come when there's a miscarriage they don't have a funeral? If a fetus is a human being, how come people say 'we have two children and one on the way' instead of saying 'we have three children?' "

PS: Just one other thing to consider, the news item on Dosado also contained the following:

"Reuters said that in 2000, women in the country had more than 473,000 induced abortions, translating to a rate of 27 abortions per 1,000 women. The average rate in the United Sates was 20."

Isn't this absolutely shocking? This could mean that there were about a half million Filipinas in 2000 who had to resort to back-door specialists -- exposing them to unsanitary conditions and complications such as bleeding, infections, and damage to internal organs, or even the ultimate risk, death. This is because a group of individuals with penises think they know better.

I Spit on You Capitalist Imperialist Pigs!

Here's a very interesting and well-written article in VF.com on the collapse of one of the biggest Wall Street investment banks Bear Sterns last March which even a bonehead like me could understand. The lead paragraph purports the fall as "the greatest financial scandal in history." Initially I thought that this claim was full of shit but after having read the article, my god, I am just stunned at how bankers could behave the same way as pimps fighting over choice locations for whores.

I also took a gander of Hollywood's new crop of hot young things. Sigh. I had no idea on who half of them are. Shit, make that three-fourths. How come I only have a vague idea on who the Jonas Brothers is? are? Oh yeah, that's because I'm not a fourteen year old girl.

Schwinger's List

Here's a photo I came across in Flickr which was supposedly taken in Hong Kong breaking down the price list of prostitutes available in one of the establishments:



Isn't it depressing? I mean, I have to save up twice as much for a Russian. Kidding! Geesh.

One of the comments posted makes an effort to translate the Chinese characters with some personal asides:

"1. 大波北姑: northern girl with big tits
2. 青春陀地: young local girl (I'm told 陀地 is cantonese for local - hence more likely to be HK)
3. 白淨馬拉: white skinned malay
4. 熱情寶妹: hot and spicy filipina
5. 狂野鬼妹: raving wild [foreign] ghost sister - the Chinese doesn't actually say Russian or even white... how do they know they're not getting a girl from the Ukraine?

Oh yeah, and the sign also says that the A/C is working. "

...And Monkeys May Fly Out of My Butt

Do I file this one under 'I Never Thought I'd See the Day' or 'Bar Bets I Lost': Pregnant Man Gives Birth!

Is that the Geisha? Looks Good.

When I was interviewed in my application to film school, one of the questions which was asked was who my favorite director is. I didn't have to think about it. I said it was Wes Anderson.

The guy is just brilliant. That's it. I try not to read reviews of his movies because I feel personally slighted when critics touch on anything remotely negative about them. He's done five full-length features: Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, and The Darjeeling Limited. I love the shit out of each one of these movies and picking one true favorite among these is pretty much a decision on the level of Sophie's Choice for me. Well, okay. The Royal Tenenbaums.

If you haven't seen any of his movies, American Express got Andersion for its "My Card. My Life" campaign (featuring commercials with high-end celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres, Robert De Niro, Tiger Woods, and Kate Winslett; and directed by other directors like Martin Scorcese and M. Night Shyamalan) and you will be able to get a flavor of this director's very unique style. I read somewhere that the commercial is an homage to Francois Truffault's film on filmmaking Day and Night as it even uses the same music. Like all of Anderson's films, it would take multiple viewings to scratch thru the surface of the two-minute ad and you genuinely want to see the finished movie that he seems to be directing during the shoot. How the hell does a blinking pen, .357 with bayonet, a geisha, and a 15,000 dollar helicopter shot all go together in the movie?